I’m offiically at the point where I’m counting down to my due date in days now, not weeks. 22 are left to be exact. And yes, I am very, very excited about that, so excited in fact, that I have to stop myself from thinking about things like labour, delivery, meeting my new baby, and seeing their face for the first time because whenever I start to go down that road, I tear up and get super impatient, instead of just a little impatient. I think that’s one of the characteristics about myself that drove my mother nuts when I was a child, but that gives her so much delight as an adult – you can usually tell pretty easily what I’m thinking and feeling from the look on my face.
But the last few days have seen me in the duldrums a little bit. I just feel so tired. I was tired of knitting everything I have on the needles, I was tired of working on knitted Christmas presents, I was tired of cleaning the house, just to see it get messy again, I was tired of doctor’s appointments, not being able to find basinette sheets that fit our basinette, and of being overlooked when I was having a hard time getting up off a chair or couch, or when I would gasp when I received a particularily painful kick to the ribs from baby, and well, I was tired of being woken up in the middle of the night, despite being so tired. Tired of work drama, tired of dealing with everyone else’s issues, tired of temper tantrums and attitude from Morgan, tired, tired, tired. Yeah, I think it’s safe to say I’ve reached that phase of pregnancy that everyone talks about so much.
But, that’s not to say I haven’t been productive in my blues either. I finished Mom’s Christmas present, and it will be coming off the blocking boards in just a few short hours. I’m well on my way on my design project too, and I decided to submit this one to KnitPicks Indy Designers program, and see if they like it well enough to put it up on their website. It’s good exposure, and you’ve gotta love the fact that every cent goes to the designer too. And if they decide not to take it? Well, that’s what Ravelry is for.
But what has stalled, surprisingly, is the toy elephant, Elijah, that I started for the baby. It’s probably because I think I’m going to run out of yarn. Why this scares me, when I know full well I’m going to be downtown and can pick up another ball (it’s just Patons Classic Wool, in a colorway I know I will use up later on) on Monday after the doctor’s appointment, is beyond me, but for some reason, I can’t bring myself to work on it when I know I could run out of yarn. And don’t even ask me about the German Stocking. I’m still on the same spot on the heel flap, and I don’t plan on picking it up again until after I’ve finished my design project.
My English Garden Cozy is being frogged. I’ve realized that it’s not going to fit my oddly shaped teapot, which looks like an upside down pyramid with the point cut off. This cozy is designed more for the “brown betty” type of teapots, that are more ball-shaped, and it simply won’t work with my particular pot. It’s kind of a relief right now though, because having another meaningless project on the needles was starting to get to me. Part of me is sad to see my project count on Ravelry go down (what can I say, I kind of set a personal challenge for myself to see if I could reach 100 projects on Ravelry before the baby came, and I know I’m going to fall short), but on the other hand, it’s also a bit relieving. It was a loft goal to begin with, and so I’m just going to have to admit defeat.
I sort of feel like I should have something else to say – it is afterall, 2:52am, and the baby has had me awake for the last half an hour because after waking up to use the facilities (again), the baby decided that extra room meant it was time to play a game, namely, soccer, with my diaphram as the soccer ball. The only thing I can do when this happens is remain upright until the baby’s movements have settled – any attempt to lie down seems to say “go ahead, start kicking again” and it does, and then I become extremely short of breath, and you kind of need to breathe to sleep by the way. But, instead of boring you with whatever other melancholy thoughts have come my way over the past few days, I will instead end this post, with a promise that I will probably cheer up in a couple days, or after I’ve gotten a few hours of really good sleep.