While I have completed one project, the Pemberley Cowl and Gloves set, I have not yet photographed them for posting, so you’ll have to be contented with me blathering on about another project I’ve had going on.
What you, my readers, might not know about me, is that a long time ago, I used to paint, and not too badly at it either, if I do say so myself. Oh I was no Monet or Da Vinci, but my paintings also didn’t look like a toddler could have done better either. When I married my ex-husband, like many of the other things I was passionate about, I gave it up, and replaced most of things I liked to do in this world with Him. When I left him, I thought I had healed from that loss of my creativity, I thought I had mourned the fact that I had sold parts of myself out just because someone else wanted me to. I thought I had regained all that back and moved on. I was wrong.
Last month I could feel things welling up inside of me, and writing in my journal and talking to a counselor (yes, I’m seeing one) wasn’t cutting it. There was stuff inside me that was trying to get OUT, and the only thing I could think of was somehow doing it artistically. But I didn’t know how. It had literally been almost 10 years since I had held a brush or worked with paint, and I was officially stuck. That very day, I was on Facebook, and this lovely lady I follow, Goddess Leonie is her name, was advertising the start of her Creative Goddess E-course within 24 hours. So I joined up, thinking that at the very least, there would be artistic projects to get me going in the right direction.
I had no idea that the weekly assignments would be so powerful, so moving, so healing. The first week was about JUST PAINTING, just DOING it, finally putting an end to the procrastination, and picking up paint, picking up brushes, or even using your hands, and things from nature, and creating something. So I did.
I love my picture. I love everything it represents, all the possibility it holds, the energy that I feel coming out of it. I love her expression, I love the colors, and it felt absolutely surreal creating it. It was as if time and space had suddenly transported me back to 2002, back to art class, when I had “skill” with paint and brushes. The muscle memory of mixing colors, painting, filling in the fine detail, and just doing whatever came naturally was suddenly right back there in my hands, guiding me. I didn’t really THINK while I was painting this, it moved through me, and out onto the paper.
The second week was about transformation and releasing the negative built up energy of fear that has been holding me back creatively, and again, I needed that too. This time we had to create a natural sculpture and then destroy it, to release all that negative energy that you pour into it while creating your piece back out into the world, and it is cleansed from your body. I made my arrow, and was quite sad when I saw the finished product, to think that I was going to destroy it.
But when the time came to go to the river and build a fire, and toss it into the flames, I was ready. I had faced my fears, I had acknowledged them, and I wanted to be free of them. I could feel their presence in my arrow, feel it living inside of it. I tossed it on the fire happily, and sighed a big sigh of relief.
And this week, it’s about healing. There are things inside me that I need to heal, but I’m also choosing to help a dear friend to heal as well. A relationship she has been in for many years is coming to an end, and unfortunately, she has been subjected to some harsh truths, finding out that the person she thought she was with was not the person she thought she was. I know she poured her heart and soul into the relationship, and to see her so badly burned emotionally by this person makes me physically ill. I just want to HEAL HER. And so that’s what I intend to do this week, heal us both, at least, try to anyways. I am repurposing two small canvases, they are basically duplicates of paintings I already have (it’s a set of 4, basically the same two painting sets in two different sets of frames, I’m keeping one set, and painting over the second), and the first painting that I’m working on is for her.
It’s a woman standing in a river, facing the opposite side, she is nude, and you see her from the back. Her head is back, her arms flung open to receive the healing of the water and the sun and air, and you can’t see the expression on her face, but I’m hoping to make the painting feel as though she is supremely happy right then in that moment. I am not yet sure what my second painting will be of, but I’m sure that synchronicity will work its magic, and the image will come into my head at some point, and when it does, I will paint it. I kept the frames the canvases pop into, and they will go back into those frames when I’m done with the paintings. I’m going to embellish them however, improve them, I don’t like the way they look now.
I am absolutely loving the energy this course is putting back into my life, my soul, and my heart, and I really recommend that you check out her website and see if it’s for you as well. I think sometimes a new experience can be a little intimidating, but I really recommend watching a couple of her You Tube videos and giving some of her stuff a go, I think you would really like it. *insert big grinny smiley face here*
Until later, happy creating, happy knitting, happy everything!